So many, yet so few.

There are 7.4 Billion people in the world today, with the United Nations estimating that this number will grow to 11.2 Billion by 2100. We work with them, laugh with them, speak to them, and share our most special moments with them. Each person has a story, a set of experiences, a way they think and unique qualities that define them. In this post I wanted to specifically talk about the impact each person that comes into your life can have, how to make the most of the relationship and giving some of my own perspective on hanging on or letting go.

If you think of the current circle of friends you have, and contrast the people you interact with on a daily basis with the ones you occasionally see, you must think to yourself “How come I don’t see “X” more often”. The answer to that is simply because there is less in common between you two than there once was. The challenge and the gift of today is, with the advent of social media and numerous other digital platforms the effort required to communicate with anyone has significantly lessened. This can mean on one hand, that loved ones half way across the world are easier to stay in touch with than ever before, but it also tends to give us the illusion that in-person time is no longer as important. This is not to say that people are not dedicating enough time to meeting each other in person, but rather to stress the significance of why in-person still matters. With this introduction, you’ve probably understood that I place a high importance on each and every interaction I have, and below are 3 reasons why.

The first reason is centered around my deep desire to understand “Why things happen the way they do”. The conclusion I have recently arrived at is not asking the “why” but “how can I make the most of what happens”. In life, we all like to think we have control. This can be in the form of the choices we make in our day to day (what to eat, where to go, what to do..etc.) to the more significant decisions such as (moving homes, quitting your job, what car to buy etc.).

When in fact, we have really little control as to the events that actuallyhappen. A quote I’ve adopted that’s helped me not question the “Why” as much is; Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it. This has helped me to understand that people are the constant variables in our lives. The age old saying of “Everything is temporary, nothing is constant” is very true in this case specifically. So the point is, that people can be our best teachers if we let them teach us what they know. Each person that comes into your life has arrived for a very specific reason, it’s up to us to understand not the “Why” but the “What can I learn and give back to this person, in the brief time we’ll have together”.

This segways nicely into my next point around making the most of the current relationships you have. I personally have focused on three things listed below that I’ve found to be extremely helpful;

Giving without the expectation of receiving: Innately, we are built to take. Society makes it tough to give selflessly because it can be so cruel. But, giving your time, energy, undivided attention and support to those that matter has a way of coming back to you in a form that you least expect. (in other words, karma, for those who recognized what I was saying).
100% Attention: This goes back into the idea of having so many different digital channels on which to communicate on. How often have you found yourself on Facebook to be talking to multiple people at the same time? I have! It’s a huge thrill to have conversations going for me in parallel because I’m multi-tasking, yay! But, that also means I’m not giving my full attention to either person, making it unfair for everybody. Now take this with a grain of salt, I’m not saying every single little interaction should have this level of preciseness, but the reward is worth it for the interactions we choose to focus on.
Tangibly Helping and Adding Value: I believe that each relationship you have is a chance for you to add value and enrich someone else’s life. We each have our own unique strengths. Figuring out how to make those strengths work for someone else can help you make a positive impact.

Finally, making the decision to hang on or let go, can be one of the hardest decisions we’ll face in our lives. The fact is; people matter, which is maybe why there’s so many of them, yet at the same time so few. Of the 7.4 Billion, we have only but a fraction of a percentage that we interact with, which can make letting go so difficult. For those that hang on (me), it’s a fine balance of knowing when to let go and how hard we want to hang on. For those that tend to let go, it’s important to understand what you are really letting go of.

No matter the type of person you are, the one thing that stays constant isyour unique self. A rule of thumb I’ve found that has helped is; if the relationship I have with someone is contributing to my unique self in apositive way then I will do everything in my power to make sure the other person is appreciated for it. If however, a relationship is taking away from my unique self then it’s time to put some distance in the middle.

At the end of the day, you are worth it. Your time, energy, and personality are what make you, you. Enjoy the moments you have with the people you have in your life and make the most of it, because people matter.